Tuesday, Dec 18, 2012
Follow up with Dr. Joshua Klatt was an exciting day.
Honestly I find my self having a writers block writing this post. I have so many mixed feelings I don’t know where to begin. Pondering, I guess I can start by answering the Top questions I am frequently being asked, “Are you feeling any better and are you in less pain?” My usual and natural answer would be, I am doing fine. But, knowing my last post, “Life Is a Circus Act” I am going to tell you the whole truth. I say fine because I don’t want you to worry about me or to sympathize. Truly, I don’t even want to think about the pain I have been though or going though when being asked, those same questions.
I have new pain everyday. Not pain that I even want to tolerate anymore. I often tell Enoch, I wish I was faking it, just to get a break. He reassures me that I’m not and that I am the strongest person he has met. I am sure he says that because he is trying to make me feel better (best husband).
This has been the hardest thing I have ever been through. I have been living an almost two month nightmare. Everyday I wake up with a new struggle. Enoch frequently reminds me that I am getting stronger, I am able to get around easier. Though when I do feel that I can get through the whole day I begin to pushing myself over and finding myself back in bed.
So here is your answer. It is complicated … What has made me weaker has made me stronger. I am still in this nightmare for another almost four months (what I am told). I am recovering from a traumatic surgery my whole body has changed and so I deal with the same amount of pain everyday but getting stronger dealing with it. Everyday is a new day but brings new adventures. That is my answer. Everyday is a constant changing routine or obstacle but every time I see the before and after photos it reminds me of what I have overcome.