As I was teaching in one the studios I caught a glimpse of myself teaching in the mirror. The same glimpse that I had when I was dancing and thinking to myself that I may not be able to do this for the rest of my life, remembering the time I met with the doctor for the first time. The doctor was just getting to know me and asked what type of hobbies was I into. Dancing was definitely the top of my list of hobbies. Instantly being rejected by the remark he said, “well you might want to change that hobby” This only encouraged me to keep going for my dreams of dancing. Starring back at myself in the dance room mirror a slight smile on my face developed. Looking at myself and becoming proud of who I am today.
Its indescribable what pain I have gone through. The pain is not only physically straining but mentally. Needing help to get in and out of bed, showering, daily chores and even just getting dressed for the day. There are times I have felt like I had no pride.
Enoch (my husband) has been so sweet during this trial and my biggest supporter. Both of us suffer countless sleepless nights because of my pain. Living in Utah the weather has always had a toll on my back. Whenever the pressure changes I end up back down in bed. Enoch is my rock and love of my life, always there helping me every step of the way. He can always tell when I am struggling and insists that I stay down and he sets my heating pad up on the bed and pillows to surround and help support my back. It’s my nest. I don’t know what I would do with out Enoch helping me over the big waves of pain. I am sure I would be pushing myself and making everything even worse.
|The Love of my life
This trial has become a Voyage in my life. You are always hoping to see blue skies and smooth sailing. Besides the aching pains and stiffness of the back you get before a storm comes metaphorically it’s what you feel after the storm has passed. I have my days of weakness and vulnerability. It is all part of the process to this voyage of recovery. When you go through trials its not just you that’s going through it, it’s your closest friends and family in this case your crew that go through it right with you.
All of us have that tail to tell, trials that we have faced. I have had countless supporting letters, stories and emails of other people’s experiences uplifting and encouraging me through the toughest part of the storm. You may feel sometimes that your in a Ruin. With the trials I have been facing there are times that I felt for a while that my life was in ruin… Pondering further on the word Ruin. I soon came up with a conclusion that Ruin can be a gift and a road for transformation. Don’t be afraid (or doubt) that you will be destroyed instead; become resilient; able to with stand any storm you go through. Gondi said,
Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.
Appreciate life and all that comes with it. Everyone has their tough times but learn what you can and make the best of it. Life is too short so enjoy it. My life motto.
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