Well it has been two months now and yes I am still in pain but alive. I am becoming more mobile but we all know what this means for me. Down time and guilty look on my face. Though it has become so nice to get out once in while with my family and friends truth be told I fall right into the same sink hole back in bed.

I know its only been two months but I feel like its been already a whole year. It doesn’t help that its winter thus, totally cold and depressing but then again if it were summer you know I would be wanting to get out even more. I am stuck in a predicament. It has been so hard to stay down and find entertainment and to be completely honest it gets depressing at times.

I get my self into trouble just being home and wanting to do dishes (can’t stand dishes left in sink), Laundry, sweeping, iron, vacuuming or even trying on so many shirts just because I don’t feel good about my self. ugh!!

On a positive note I am back to work and I am so happy being there. I have had to make some huge adjustments. Having to give up my technique classes and my Mini ballroom team because I can’t dance. I am still over the Youth Team and getting lots of help from other amazing teachers to teach the kids. I love my job, students and every employer I work with at the studio. They have been so supporting and helpful through my recovery. My first day back was full with opened arms but very soft hugs. 😉

I come to work with a pillow and boots on so I don’t slip on ice. It is so hard for me to just sit there and not dance. I can’t wait to be back out there but understanding that if I don’t listen to my body or doctor I won’t be dancing anytime soon. I am forced to sit there and watch my students and others dance. It kills me!! Though, I have to say watching my kids dance they have become so inspiring to me. I see the love of dance in through their dedication and willingness they have for dance. There is nothing better to see a child excelle through dance. I am such a proud teacher.  It really makes me even miss it more and excited to hopeful to dance again one day soon. I really need to face the facts and not do anything stupid anymore. I can’t even imagine walking into my next appointment to only find out that there has been no progress because of my stupid choices I have made.
Getting out these days is a process. Here is another trick for you and secret of mine. I don’t take a shower for at least three days. Thus the curls in my hair are only three days old and even if I throw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt to cover up the huge scar I have on my back or the makeup to cover the dark circles under my eyes because of sleepless night. I just like to “look good” (what girl doesn’t) and for how ever long you may see me, I can at least pretend I am not suffering for that moment.

Running into good company. My cousin Erica at the mall 

I do find my self staring in the mirror after all that I have done to get my self ready and I can still call my bluff. Let’s be honest again no lies. This journey is tough and I never thought it was going to be this frustrating or hard.

Stubborn as I may get sometimes, I have learned that it is important to accept the help from others. It has been very hard to accept help this “far” along in my recovery. I instantly think that I can do little chores but then having my body completely go out on me and once again back into my bed I go I am left with guilt and needing more help than I thought. I am so grateful for the people I have surrounded myself with. I have such an amazing group of friends and family that have been so helpful through this journey. As one of my close friends mentioned the other day, “there is always a silver lining.” I just need to learn how to accept the help.

Andrea my sister/best friend wanted to check out an antique store. I always love looking for hidden treasures and even bringing up new old memories. I bought a necklace for five bucks and I love it! It was a great add to my collection of jewelry.


Enoch has started his new job at eBay. He travels once and sometimes twice a month. We keep up with google chat every night before bed. I love him so much and so thankful for technology.
In the midst of everything Enoch did bring home the cold. So to stop my self from sneezing and coughing I looked like this for a good week. 🙂 
Amber Clark 
I met one of my favorite bloggers. This is Amber Clark and her blog is Barefootblond.com. She has amazing tips and great sense of style. She is so sweet and amazing to meet. 


My twin Alisha coming out to enjoy the show with me
Nichole the Director and Celeste Fisher 


I had the opportunity to judge a show at Lehi High School. It was their “Dancing With The Athletes.” What a fun show it was!! I enjoyed watching the passion the kids had for dance and creative ideas they came up with.


Still trying to keep up with walking. It looks like I am getting faster. Though I am pushing myself I need to stop competing and just take this last month of recovery with some down time before therapy starts next month.
Enoch has been such a trooper through all of this. I am so lucky to be married to my best friend who I love with all my heart. He has gone over and beyond to make sure I not pushing my self and as convertible as possible. I feel like we are closer than we ever where. Having to go through such a life changing trial has brought us closer than ever. Though its been tough to just let him do the laundry (I fold when I can) or do dishes when those where things that I typically would be doing when he was at work and I had a few hours to kill in the morning.  He has been my biggest support and help that I need to feel comfortable in a clean home. He is constantly telling me that I can get through this, “your tough.” He is my rock!! I tell him every day more than I am sure twenty times that I love him.
Living in Spanish Fork it seems to me that we have all the snow. Don’t you think so?


Back to driving… it has been a bit hard driving around so the least I do the better I am. I find it hard to turn my head to check blind spots so I am very careful while driving. Enoch cleaned the car off and shoveled it out of the snow after about two months thick icicles formed around the car. Driving has been difficult but I am feeling more independent being able to get around on my own.
Next month I get to start therapy (I hope). I am excited to get started on gaining my strength back (closer to dancing again). Enoch and the doctor warn me that this will mean more pain but we only hope it’s the good type of pain. No pain no game!! So please keep the wishful thinking for me. I am doing my best to stay positive and keep my mind on other things instead. I have promised Enoch that I will be good from now on. I am tried of putting my self in time out. I understand that if I behave and do what’s best for me the better and closer I will get to dancing again.
 Thanks for all your support and love. Hope you are all staying warm and safe in this winter weather.  Love you all.